The Ultimate

I debated fucking with this topic for fear of what might come out but ya know? I wouldn't be a writer if I strayed away from the uncomfortable. And I wouldn't be human if I didn't admit my flaws.

I am the other woman. I am. In fact, I'm the perfect other woman. Trained by the best to be the best at what it is I do. I'm about to launch into nostalgic soliloquy for a minute but I promise it has a purpose. so just walk with me, k?

When I was about...13, I got my heart broke. Though I was only 13, it stayed with me. It doesn't hurt now, but to this day, even though I'm convinced it had something to do with his terminal assholishness, it stuck with me. I always felt like I was to blame for it. After him I had like... 4 or 5 bullshit ass relationships. You know nothing special just some young hot shit. No sex though. It was during the last of these relationships that I met the person who would forever change my life. Duck was 5'2, athletic, funny, crazily attractive, and female. Before I knew it I had fallen again. My poor lil boyfriend didn't know what hit him. In all of two weeks Duck had my ass, hook, line, and sinker. Because I'd only experienced heartbreak at the hands of a boy I had no clue that girls were capable of the same thing. OH, but they were. About 2 months into my blissful coming out affair Duck had cheated on me with one of my best friends (I hate that bitch to this day). But... I could not shake Duck. I loved her hard. And somehow, like I did with the guy, I convinced myself that I was to blame. Like, if I could just have been everything she wanted, she'd realize that I was everything she needed and she'd come back to me. It was there that I began my training.

It wasn't easy, at first, knowing that when the girlfriend walked into the room I had to move my hand or watch my speech. But I got used to it, I guess. As used to it as one can get. I learned how to shut the fuck up and just be there for her. I learned how to go out of my way for her and not expect anything in return. I learned how to make a person feel as if they're the most valuable thing on this Earth. Every relationship I entered into after her has been destroyed by what I feel/ felt for her. In my relationships, she came first. I am the ultimate other woman.

Now that I no longer deal with her in that capacity I realize that she's created the ultimate jumpoff. Here's why.

1. Most importantly, pussy game proper. And by pussy I don't just mean intercourse or strapping up. I mean anything u want me to do I can and will do and I do it well. Take that back U will not use me as a toilet seat. period.
   
2. My job is to cater to you. When I'm with someone, it's very rarely about me. It's about what I can do to make them feel the best they've ever felt. I'm not talkin' sexually I'm talkin esteem wise. I make u feel like there's nothing you can't do.
3. I don't ask questions. Plain and simply, I just don't want the damn answers. And though, at times, I may catch feelings, they aren't important so how I feel is irrelevant.
   
4. I don't trip if plans change or I'm set on the backburner. I'm used to it. I don't jap or go hard. Not my place.
5. Lastly, and certainly one of the most crucial jumpoff rules, I know my place. You will never catch me going through e-mails, answering phones, confronting your girl, demanding shit, none of that. I really don't like the drama.

I've trained myself to love it. To feel empowered when I see pics of the people I've dealt with with ther siginifigant others because I know the "truth". To laugh at the chicks smiling happily in pictures because they're blissfully ignorant. To walk in the background. To get the midnights and the booty calls and to be fine with getting no affection outside of a lust filled union. I've trained myself not to want hugs or hand holding and who needs dates anyway, cuz it's not like they're extraordinary. And plus I've only been on one so it's not like I can miss something I never really had. I've been trained to love being the woman that's done in the dark. :-)


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.......I hate this shit.